Possibly the most real thing in your life right now is the way you feel. Indeed, your feelings have huge practical impact on you and everyone around you and the way your divorce unfolds, for better or worse. The real divorce is about ending one life and beginning another and making it work—spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially, practically. The real divorce is about finding a new center of balance.

Emotional upset and stress that leads to conflict is what sends people running into court and into expensive, wasteful, harmful legal battles. There are no tools in a law office or courtroom that can help you solve any of your problems—to the contrary, you can be sure things will get worse if you go there—but the things you can do yourself, the steps you can take, can make all the difference. The solutions are in your hands and under your control.

When you deal constructively with the emotional aspects of breaking up, you are not only doing yourself and your whole family a big favor, you are setting the stage for effective negotiation or mediation of a settlement that will keep you out of court and lead to a better, faster, less expensive outcome for you and your family.

Read in Make Any Divorce Better about specific, practical things you can do to reduce upset and conflict, hasten healing, and set the stage for a better future.

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