Guess
what? You’re already doing your own divorce!
Doing your own divorce starts with becoming informed—which is what you
are doing right now. You get reliable information, maybe some advice from a reliable source, then make your decisions and stay in charge of your case and your life.
Doing your own divorce is relatively easy in cases where there will be no legal opposition in court. This happens in two ways:
Your spouse is gone,
doesn’t care or can’t be bothered You two are able to
work out a written agreement about dividing property, support and, if you have
kids, parenting.
Whenever
there is no legal opposition, all that’s left is some paperwork and red tape to
get your judgment.
There might be some disagreement
If you think your spouse might oppose you in court if you were to start your divorce right now, don't go to an attorney or talk about divorce with your spouse until you read the advice in my book, Make Any Divorce Better, which shows you how to solve problems and work things out with your spouse. It also tells you how to find the right attorney if you need one.
Can you do your own divorce?
Hundreds of thousands of people do divorces themselves every
year using reliable books and kits that are specifically for their state. Doing the paperwork is
not difficult, not really, maybe something like a self employed
person doing their own income tax return the first time.
Should you get professional help with your paperwork? Ask three questions:
What do you have to lose? The larger and more complex your estate, the more likely you are to benefit from professional assistance. Can you afford to pay a few hundred dollars? What else could you be doing with your time?
If you can afford it, it would might be better to get someone
else to take care of the red tape and paperwork. Give yourself a treat, get
this load off your shoulders. You’d be better off spending the time on
yourself, visiting your kids, building yourself a new life. On the other hand,
maybe you enjoy doing things yourself, or you’d rather save the money or have a
paperwork hobby for awhile.
First, get organized and prepared
The best thing you can do, and you can start right now, is to get our Worksheets. These will definitely help you organize your facts and your thinking and, if you get professional help, they will save you a lot of time and money. If you get help or do everything yourself, you still need to get your facts and documents together, so to the Worksheets page and read about how they can help you get ready to move forward.
Where to find help
To do your own divorce you’ll need some help in the form of a
reliable book or kit, a good legal typing service or maybe even a certain kind
of lawyer. To read about the different kinds of professionals who can help you, and how to choose the right one, click here.
Books
and kits
To do it yourself, you’ll need a recent and reliable book or kit created
specifically for your state. The key word is reliable, because we have seen a
lot of books that definitely do not qualify, in particular you should avoid
books that claim to be good in all states. Don’t believe it! Every state is
different. I know for a fact of several states where they definitely do not work, so we
consider the whole thing untrustworthy. And you want a book or kit that was
published no more than a few years ago. Laws change and old information can be
dangerous.
You already know that Nolo publishes excellent books for California and Texas, complete kits
for doing your own divorce, with forms and advice for how to understand the
process and guidance to help you make good decisions.
For other states, here’s how to look for reliable material:
 Look in your phone directory in the
county government section, or contact your county courthouse and find out where
there is a law library that is open to the public. Ask the law librarian if
there is a reliable book, kit or set of forms and instructions for your state.
If they point you to a computer and show you online forms to fill out, read our
comments below about such Internet services.
Go to the public library and ask
the reference librarian if he/she knows of a reliable book of forms and
instructions for doing a divorce in your state.
Many courts have self help forms
and instructions on their Web sites. Look in the yellow pages under government
listings for the courts in your county. Call and ask where divorces are filed
and ask the clerks there if they have sillily materials. Ask if their court
has a Web site and get the address. Or, get the formal name for the court in
your county where divorces are filed and search Google for their Web site. Look
for forms and see what they offer. The point is this: when it comes to legal
material, if it’s not Nolo or not on an official government site, be very
cautious!
Internet
divorce kits and forms
Don’t do it! We recommend
against online divorce forms and forms that you fill out on the Internet. They
have several serious limitations. They never provide enough information to help
you understand what it means to check one box or another or fill out the form
one way or another. They are often incomplete, and worse, they are inflexible. Don’t
waste your money. Instead, look for a reliable book or a local forms typing service. For more on
this point, click here
Divorce typing services
The idea behind legal document typing services is that you
know exactly what you want and merely hire secretarial assistance to prepare
and process your paperwork. Actually, they provide much more help than that,
but it’s not cool to say so out loud.
Before you hire someone, find out how long they have been in
business, talk to them, ask for references and really check them out.
No formal training is required to run a divorce typing
service, so don’t depend on them for legal advice. It is important that you be informed and
know what you want, even if that means getting a little advice from a family
law attorney-mediator. It would not be safe to have a divorce typing service
draft any but the simplest marital settlement agreement unless you have a
fairly simple, low value case. If you need something more, take a look at
Nolo’s DealMaker software
that guides you to making a comprehensive settlement agreement.
Here’s where to look for a divorce typing service:
Classified ads in local papers
or shopping guides under “services.”
Phone directory yellow pages. Look in the index
for headings like Document Preparation, Legal Document Assistance, Legal Forms
Preparation, Paralegal Services, Typing Services.
Internet. Do a Google search using the
name of your state and “divorce service.” Go to Craigslist and click to
your state and a nearby large city, then under “services” click on “legal” and
search for “divorce” and see what turns up.
Lawyers
If you want a lawyer to do your paperwork, call a lot of them.
Tell them that your case will definitely not be contested and you want to know
what they charge just for doing the paperwork in such an easy case. Shop around
until you get a reasonable price, if you can.
Take care that lawyerly techniques do not drag you into more
service than you need or increase the conflict or complexity of your case. Be prepared, know what’s going on,
supervise and manage your own case. That’s what works best. You can also hire
an attorney just to draft a settlement agreement. This kind of job should be
done at a flat rate. Call around and compare prices.
In some cities, there are cheap lawyers who run divorce mills
but here as anywhere you frequently get what you pay for. If they do not
complicate your case and promote more legal work for themselves, they will
essentially be doing the work of a divorce typist for a higher price. Cheap
lawyers can’t take the time to help you understand your case; they are
notorious for not returning calls.
If
things don’t go smoothly
If you unexpectedly find yourself in disagreements with your Ex, don’t discuss hot issues again until you read Make Any Divorce Better learn how to smooth things out. If you want personal help with working things out, read Who Can Help.
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