These are very important practical steps you should take before separation. Some are best done before the divorce is announced, but all should be done as early as you can manage.

  Mutuality in the decision to divorce. Perhaps the most common source of conflict in a divorce is when both spouses have not agreed to the divorce. Ideally, the decision is arrived at together or at least accepted by both of you. Unless you are planning a surprise attack or sudden departure (a good way to start a war), take time to work on mutual acceptance of the divorce. starting off on the right foot is the best thing you can do to guide your case toward a smoother more peaceful resolution. Read my article, The Good Divorce.

  Get Make Any Divorce Better and follow the specific steps I recommend that will lead you to a smoother, faster, less painful and less expensive experience.

  Have sensitive mail sent to your office, a friend's address, or get a mailbox at a local mail service center that gives you 24 hour access.

  If you want computer files on a shared computer to be private, Google "private files on shared computer" and read some of the articles, or ask a teenager or a techie friend.

  As soon as you can, start using my Worksheets to organize your personal and financial facts. These same worksheets come with Make Any Diovrce Better, or you can get them separately. This will help clarify your case and your thinking and help you make sure you've thought of everything.

  The Budget Worksheet is especially important as you need to know what you have been spending and estimate what it will cost each of you to live separately in the future.

  If you will need more income after separation, think about ways you can earn it. Think about getting more education or training to prepare for a better job.

  Read Funding the Separation and Parenting in the Early Stages.

  Open a bank account in your own name and start building a nest egg to help you through the first few months.

  Build your own separate credit. If you don't have credit cards in your own name, apply for one or more right now. To establish good credit, use your cards instead of cash for a small amount each month and be sure to always pay them by the due date.

  While you have the chance, make photocopies of every family financial record you can find as you will need to know about all family assets and debts.

  Divorce and Taxes. To learn some basic but important fact about how how divorce affects your tax returns, read this short article in the Reading Room.

  Retirement funds. If either of you has a retirement or pension fund that received contributions during your marriage, you should read two articles in the Reading Room: Retirement Fund Basics and Divorce and Retirement FAQs.

  Social Security. Request a personal earnings and benefits statement (PEBES FORM SSA-7004) for yourself and one for your spouse from the Social Security Administration. One day you might collect on your spouse's record and after divorce that information will not be easily available.

  If you have children, keep a log of time you spend with them and things you do for them and also track your spouse's child visits and chores. If your current parenting activity is on the low side, increase your contact and contributions. You may never need this information, but it might be useful if there's a disagreement over the parenting schedule.

  VERY important! At some early point you must actually close all joint credit card accounts and other credit accounts that were in use during your marriage. It is not enough to simply have your name removed. Open new accounts and get new credit cards in your separate names. Give written notice to all creditors that either party might have dealt with during the marriage-tell them that you are separated and will no longer be responsible for your partner's debts. Important!

  Unless you are planning a surprise attack, be sure to inform your spouse well in advance when you plan to close accounts or take other steps that could have an effect on his/her life, otherwise it will cause trouble, seem like an attack and create unnecessary upset.

  Withdraw funds? If you are sure that your spouse is going to fight you over your share of family assets, consider withdrawing half of the money in joint accounts before you inform your spouse that you have done so. This will be correctly understood as a hostile act that will create upset and undermine trust, so only do it if you feel you have no better choice.